Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Seasons.

I just read an archived email from an old friend, that I am not really friends with anymore. 
I had saved the email because when I read it, I was filled with joy..
But today when I read it I almost cried. Earlier in the week I got a phone call 
from a friend that I had totally lost all contact with and even though I was thrilled to 
have heard from him, my heart ached. Funny how emotions are. 
Or maybe it is funny how seasons are... I have this theory that people are 
put into your life to be either eternal friends or seasonal. When you begin a friendship with 
a person you know if they are going to be eternal friends because there is an instant bond. Meaning they are 
automatic besties/siblings. I have only felt this for a few people, I have tried to force it with others and 
it just did not work. I have come to the conclusion that people are put into your life for a certin purpose. 
Like God has a reason for them to be in your life either they will bring you down to make you stronger in the end. Or they will raise you up. Every friend has a purpose. Like Alanis says, "you live you learn!" 
I guess hurt accompanies any great thing. 

Yahweh.. U2 Rocks.

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Why the dark before the dawn

Take this city
A city should be shining on the hill
Take this city if it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My Anthem.

My Anthem.

Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. 23 For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. 24 Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! 25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?
27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.
32 “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.
33 “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it.
34 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Rugose

That is my word of the day.. To have many wrinkles.. 
Over the last week I have been thinking about getting old. 
Since hurricane Ike, family has been staying with us. My house 
parents are Ron and Emily, Ron’s mother has Alzheimers. My 
great grandmother died of that, and I see traces of it in my pappy. 
I break that generational curse right now! haha! I see how much that Ron’s Father
still loves Joyce (his wife). He takes care of her like he is taking care of himself. 
I think in the short time that they have been staying with us I have learned what 
it means to truly love someone. I have the best of the best models to aline myself with. 
I live with people that are madly in love with each other, I have never heard my parents fight, both sets of grandparents are married, my four sets of aunties and 
uncles are happily married. I have joked a lot about my family sticking together like a mafia, and people have accused us. But we just understand loyalty and commitment. I have not live through this broken home environment where I was love deprived, or had a bad example of a father, or anything of that matter. I have the best life a person could wish for, but it took me seeing someone giving everything that they are for their love. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, Give all to love, obey thy heart. I have seen that love in action. I know how to love and I know Gods love but how do I fall in love? How do I find an everlasting love that I will not get tired of and they will not get tired of me? I have been thinking about becoming old, and I realized that I do not want to get old. I honestly believe I will not have to go through all the bad stages.. Maranatha Maranatha Lord Jesus! I want to be raptured. But if I do I prayed the other day that I wanted a Sarah anointing, Kings trying to hit on her when she was 90 years old. I want that! I just want someone who will take care of me if I were to get alzheimers. Uncle Jonathan said in marriage concealing  he always asks, “If you got into a wreck on the way to your honeymoon suite and your wife/husband was completely paralyzed, would you stay committed for the rest of your life and take care of her/him?” That is really hard. I do not know if I could do that for any guy I know! God will have to work on me!

Winds of Change. Pt. 1

It has been a cyclone of change that has swept through this country as of the last couple of weeks. I could not help but to wonder when God is going to return. Chaos everywhere, gas prices to high to afford (though Im not complaining because I know we will rule the world for 1k years post-trib... Uncle J), The Winds of change.. We have politicians rant and rave over how they will bring change, but I do not believe any of it. It makes me feel helpless for this world system. I guess I have my head in Heaven. 
I was going to go into this scripture that the lord gave me and what I feel my next step in live is.. But I cannot find the scripture. Haha.. 
ZAO shirts are going to be ready soon if anyone wants to get one let me know!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Hurrican Evacuee Story.

I got this email that really ticked me off. 
 I will just paste it here:


*Subject:* FW: Shreveport Shelter 
The correspondence below came from a friend's brother who is from 
south La. and it was sent to Bill O'Reilly: 

You that are not from Louisiana do not understand that you can't do 
enough to help these people, the more you do-- the more they expect you to do, 
gimme-gimme-gimme and yes I meant to spell it that way. Volunteers work long hrs and 
they get spit on--yelled at--cursed. 

Hey folks this is just one copy of this letter that a colleague of mine sent to 
the national media. Let me just say that this lady travels the world doing 
medical missions and found Old Sams in S'port _scarrier_ than the 3rd world 
countries she has visited. Just thought you might like to hear what things were 
really like and this letter doesn't even begin to cover it 

Subject: Louisiana Evacuations & Shelters 
Date: Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:3 1:31 +0000 

Hello Mr. O'Reilly, 

I am a nurse who has just completed working approximately 120 hours as 
the clinic director in a Hurricane Gustav evacuation shelter in Shreveport, 
Louisiana over the last 7 days. I would love to see someone look at the evacuee 
situation from a new perspective. Local and national news channels have covered the evacuation and "horrible" conditions the evacuees had 
to endure during Hurricane Gustav. 

True - some things were not optimal for the evacuation and the shelters need 
some modification. At any point, does anyone address the responsibility (or irresponsibility) of 
the evacuees? 

Does it seem wrong that one would remember their cell phone, charger, cigarettes 
and lighter but forget their child's insulin? 

Is something amiss when an evacuee gets off the bus, walks immediately to the 
medical area, and requests immediate free refills on all medicines for which *they cannot provide a prescription or current bottle (most of which are narcotics)?* 
Isn't the system flawed when an evacuee says they cannot afford a $3 copay for a 
refill that will be delivered to them in the shelter yet they can take a city-provided bus to Wal-mart, buy 5 bottles of Vodka, and return to consume them secretly in the shelter?* 
Is it fair to stop performing luggage checks on incoming evacuees so as not to 
delay the registration process but endanger the volunteer staff and other persons 
with the very realistic truth of drugs, alcohol and weapons being brought into the shelter?* * 
Am I less than compassionate when it frustrates me to scrub emesis from the 
floor near a nauseated child while his mother lies nearby, watching me work 26 
hours straight, not even raising her head from the pillow to comfort her own son?* 
Why does it insense me to hear a man say "I ain't goin' home 'til I get my FEMA 
check", when I would love to just go home and see my daughters who I have only 
seen 3 times this week?* 

Is the system flawed when the privately insured patient must find a way to get 
to the pharmacy, fill his prescription and pay his copay while the FEMA 
declaration allows the uninsured person to acquire free medications under the disaster rules?* 
Does it seem odd that the nurse volunteering at the shelter is paying for childcare while the evacuee sits on a cot during the day as the shelter provides a "day care"?* 
Have government entitlements created this mentality and am I facilitating it with my work? 
Will I be a bad person, merciless nurse or poor Christian if I hesitate to work 
at the next shelter because I have worked for 7 days being called every curse 
word imaginable, felt threatened and feared for my personal safety in the shelter?* 
Exhausted and battered but hopefully pithy,* 
Sherri Hagerhjelm, RN* 
Ok, so I got this email yesterday and it really rankled me. I was irritated at the evacuees but the lady that wrote and then published this letter. I am an agent of love. That’s what we are called to be correct, everyone that believes in the New Testament say Aman! When I read this it made me sick to my stomach. I too was at the shelter volunteering for the Red Cross 12 hour all night shifts when I had a full time job and school to greet me each morning. I too have been over seas, and served in the worst of the worst, the last place was one of the most dangerous slums in East Africa, a Muslim Somalian refugee camp, in the middle of seven prostitute camps. I know bad, I know scary, and I know disgusting. The shelters were not up to out tax dollar standards at all, to say the least. In fact one of the shelters I worked at was shut down by the health department because it was so dirty that the evacuees and volunteers were getting a bacteria that was causing a horrible virus. I know it wasn’t our helpful nurses problem but thankfully Cholera did not break out! I guess that only happens in places that have need.. Not America.. These people should know better than to have need. It kind of upsets me that someone will give so much to these charities that service people all over the world (Keeping in mind I have my own NGO that services kids in East Africa) but we cannot take care of the hurting here, because we feel like they should be able to help themselves. I can honestly tell you that I felt God so much stronger working in that shelter looking into the eyes of Jesus through every hurting person, than I ever would in a fancy church building. Through helping people who are rude to you exercise the Beatitudes! What I reward.. I was cursed at because I could not give away the hundreds of blankets that we had in boxes, to a lady who obviously not getting the fix of crack she was used to. I could give them to the sick elderly, Thank you Jesus. There was excess amount of supplies at the beginning, but when the Jefferson Parish people left we thought we were closing shop. When I got off work that night I found out that they were bussing in over a thousand people to our shelter from Homer, Baton Rouge, and New Orleans. The only thing was that all of the cots were already put up.. So, Richard, Tyna, and I started putting cots up for like 500 people in this one room. I couldn’t physically put the cots up because my body was so exhausted and over worked. So, I recruited the firefighters to help. Its easy being a girl sometimes. We put down all of these cots and then realized that we could not have them out because they were the cots that the Jefferson Parish evacuees had been sleeping on for a week. Most of them had urine or other unknown stains on them. The health department was going to shut us down. Oh God I hope we have enough new cots. Would you feel comfortable sleeping on that? Then Tyna and I get the job of spraying down the old cots with Lysol (which by the way we only had 2 cans of for 800 cots) to make the evacuees that started to flood in more comfortable. Wait lets take a break to say that these people had been told that they were headed home, and never told that they were going to another shelter. Mandatory evacuation really stinks when you do not have enough money to drive somewhere, or you do not have any family to take you in, or you don’t have enough money to stay in a hotel and pay for food all week. To say the least the people that were coming in were tired, scared because there was news that gangs were looting homes in Baton Rouge, Families were separated, people had not been able to take medicine. Tyna almost got hit in the face by a man that had a sever case of schizophrenia who had ran out of his meds. We did not have any ice so our diabetics and people who needed ice to dissolve their pills were out of luck. We did not need bag searches of metal detectors because these people had done nothing except seek refuge by the government because of a natural disaster. There was a shooting outside of the shelter I was working at, but that was not an evacuee, well the evacuee was shot by a Shreveport local being territoria, gang related I guess. As for this nurse complaining about how the people would not leave without checks, which by the way I had a few people ask me but in no way rude, I would ask for compensation if I had to leave my job for over a week to evacuate and I was surviving on 3 jobs to pay my rent, food, and children expenses. I did have a few people come to me crying because they were afraid that they were going to be homeless/evicted like they were when they came back from evacuating Katrina. Being in street ministry I met homeless people from Katrina every week. As far as not feeling safe... if you did not feel safe with the state police, parish police, city police, NATIONAL GUARD with AK-47's, and firefighters EVERYWHERE than you have a problem with paranoia and you should get that checked out. As for the insurance, I guess the people that could afford insurance and medicine had enough money to go to the pharmacy and get it. Are we Marxist? Do we receive according to our need? Not the last time I checked.. The poor get help and the people who have enough money to buy, buy. Is it really that hard? I do not really think it is all fair with the government giving away so much money especially here in Louisiana either, but I know I am a Christian and it is my duty to help and represent the needy. Also, please do not judge thousands of people because of the bad attitudes of a few!

Thank you for volunteering, but if you are going to put God’s name on it, than please give with thanksgiving. What does the word say about giving to people who cant repay you? Please don’t make my Jesus reflect hate. I am very touchy when people give Jesus a bad name. We are the body and it is our call to remain in love. 

Friday, September 5, 2008

Read This!


http://www.irresistiblerevolution.com/ This is a really cool guy! Read his book Irresistible Revolution! I love it. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

You Know You're Southern When...


You know you are southern when you and your uncle have the same Cabella’s tee-shirt on, the only difference being mine was a small and his was an XXL! Or when you’re life is disrupted by a hurricane. I flew home from Austin last night. My first flight was pretty uneventful, besides the fact that I met a really great gal who wants to be involved with ZAO. Oh but then my second flight of fury came. We were flying straight into a category one hurricane. We were not allowed out of our seats, because as the flight attendant said, “We are in an emergency state”. There were several moments of free falling and extreme shaking. People were screaming and crying. The lady in front of me kept yelling profanities and crying holding onto the emergency exit door like she was about to jump out on the wing for safety. It was pretty funny after I repented of every thing and told Jesus that “if I live I live for him and if I die I die for him” and “I’ve already given my life away so it cannot be taken”. I was still shaking really bad though, side affects of being a smoker for such a long time. I was exhausted at work today. I am going up to the Red Cross Evacuee Center at 23:00 to volunteer through the night. Work is really going to suck in the a.m. Its worth it! Faith Tabernacle has really gone out of their way to supply for the 25k plus evacuees that are here in Shreveport. They donated thousands of dollars and supplies. We have had volunteer groups all over the city. Our dance team performed today and we are having church in a center tomorrow! I love being apart of a New Testament Community! I am reading a great book, rather sobering but amazing, called “Why Revival Tarries” by Leonard Ravenhill. I stole it from my dad's collection and it is a copy that is actually from 1959! I recommend it! I just got a few ‘Momma T’ books in today! I am so excited to start them! I had better get a few hours of sleep before I go and work all night!