Catastrophe lurks in the City

Catastrophe lurks in the city
The only way I can think of HIV AIDS is Genocide – a killing force taking no mercy and affecting everyone in its path. Today I experienced the most devastating thing that I have ever seen in my life. I saw anguish in a new light. I saw pain.. I saw death.. I saw life for so many people.
I met a couple be freak chance the other day who has started an organization called, Global Family Rescue. They find widows and orphans that have no way of living with out aid. They were working in Rwanda for three years but recently were thrown out by the government because they were helping out both Hutu's and Tutsi's and the government only wanted them to aid Hutu's. Today we went scouting for families to support. There is nothing that I could have done to psychologically prepare myself for what my day had in store for me. We started out at this beautiful woman's house. She was HIV positive. She had been beaten so severely by her husband that she went blind. I can not explain the beauty of this woman and how radiant her smile was. She had about five children who were infected, and her oldest (a ten year old named, Raymond) was the source of income and the man of the house. She gets her meals by begging on the street because she cannot do any manual work. Her husband had been crazy and wanted to kill her. One day while she was out he came with a machete and slaughtered her mother, her baby, and the sitter. The youngest child saw everything and is severely psychologically damaged. This woman has no money for food let along pain killers for the infection funning through her veins. She is truly helpless. You should have seen her house. It was one room with three beds, a iron pot used for cooking in the middle of the floor and that is all. They have nothing but broken dreams and infection that is slowly and painfully killing her, yet she was one of the most positive people that I have ever met. I cried so hard when she started to cry as she told us that she just wanted to live to see her kids marry and have babies because I knew in the next couple of years she would be dead. She has such strong faith in God. She is not angry with him but was talking about his blessings. We went to another house where a "jaja" (grandmother) was caretaking her eight orphan grandchildren because her three children had all died of HIV. We spoke with the eldest child who had watched both of her parents die a year ago. She cried so hard when we asked her how she felt - if she was angry or sad. None of these children can go to school because there is no government funded schools and they can not afford 50,000 shillings, about $25 to attend school. We went to household after house hold and the same story, parents killed from Aids and no money for food or school or medicine to prevent the symptoms. Then we went to a home.. a dirt room where a 37 year old mama (who looks about 80) that was infected and had been bed ridden for four years. She went to the restroom in her bed and had not bathed. You can imagine the smell. Her husband died of the virus and left her sick with six kids. Her oldest kid, Grace is 20 years old and has been bed bound for three months. This HIV is killing them and they have never received any medicine, not even pain killers. The mom was rotting. I am not exaggerating she is decomposing. Her ear was molded; she looked like she had leprosy. She and Grace were nothing but bones. I could put my hand around her thigh. It is not fair. They had not eaten in three days. We asked her what she needed and she asked for school for her children who had never been to school, a meal, a blanket, and prayer. I sat with Grace for a really long time just loving on her. I cannot imagine the fear that consumes her mind as she lies next to her decomposing mother and knows that is what she will be soon. She was so beautiful and graceful. I couldn't help but to weep as I held her hand and thought about how she has nothing to live for. I wanted to dress her up and take her to have coffee with a boy –what she should be doing. It is not her fault that she is infected why does she have to die because of her parents.<> These kids stay up every night by their mothers bed side with a candle to make sure she does not die in the night. They do not even know how old they are… Never have they ever had a birthday party or experienced "Joy" as we would know. Actually in most of the houses they had an unexplainable joy but this house was heavy with depression and anguish. We didn't see any smiles there. I had to get this off of my chest I have been crying and really psychologically screwed up all day because of it and writing seems to help. Lets do everything that we can do to stop this epidemic. PLEASE don't just sit on your pride and let these people die. A very small amount of $ can supply many with medicine so dying isn't filled with starvation, anguish, and pain -as these people were. I saw a dead woman today with a high, soft, and calm voice. She held my hand and prayed FOR ME!!! How is this happening in this day of age? How is this possible? Don't be critical because you think people will screw over your money, that is just an excuse to sit on your money. Have you heard of Jesus' parable of the Talents. The servant who sat on his money was called evil and was cast out by the master, but the servant who did something with his money was favored by the master, and the master said 'Well good thou good and faithful servant, you may enter into the masters courts." Do what you wish with what you wish but you can never loose from helping a person.

The Dirty Mzungu

Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The "Dirty Mzungu"
So today the third world has spit on me… I have got the meaning of T.I.A. All jokes aside you ask me why I named this blog, "Dirty Mzungu" it is because I am in fact the stereotypical dirty white person. Today was a great day (well until a few hours ago). I woke up and went to Eagles Nest (The secondary school that I work daily). I met Lee at the school and we went into town, Ahh Parliament Avenue Café Pap… Well I have ordered this side of potato salad twice; Daniel (my waiter) brought the side that was half the size that I am used to. I was upset, the American came out in me or maybe that was the Texan in me! After much need complaining we then went to Garden City to meet the Ben Palow's. We met a friend, Moses, for Indian food that was wonderful. By the way I am going to miss this fantastic authentic Indian food when I come back to the States. You know there is such a huge population of Indians in Kampala. After leaving we went to the salon, Marco's to get our nails done. I was feeling extra girlie so you had better believe my toenails are Barbi pink! Pecos is back in town so after getting my nails done I decided to meet with him. Well I was a bit on African time; I told him 5 o'clock and did not leave the salon until 7. I am really going to have a hard time coming back to the U.S. I called Kalanzi, (my usual taxi driver) but after considering the horrible jam I decided that a Boda Boda (motorcycle) would be the best choice. Lee and I hopped on one boda. I explain to the Boda where exactly I am going. We decide on a price and went on our way. Everything was going great until he made an executive decision to go a different way than planned. The "Salamma Road" OHHHH NOOOO!!! The city of Kampala has totally torn this road apart because when the Queen comes in November for the Common Wealth meeting, she will take this Salamma road to the Speke Resort. It is a dust storm 24/7 and we were freezing cold on a Boda choking on dust. I actually think that I have "The Black Lung". By the way this road takes so much longer than the paved, no pot hole, and clean way through Kabagala, also it is the way I actually know. This Muslim man with short pants took Lee and me on quite an adventure. He lied when he said he knew exactly where he was going -We were so lost. If that is not bad enough, this side of Buziga is extremely hilly, and his boda b could not make it up the hills and the bike would start rolling backwards every time the bike would die, the locals were actually dying laughing saying, "this is Uganda". It was also hilarious to me at this point. We start moving and I swear that this Muslim driver was not devout, because he had to have been drunk with as recklessly as he was driving. He was driving straight toward a huge ditch and judging on his driving record that I had mad on the trip I did not think he was going to stop. I start screaming, Lee jumps of the back of the bike burning his leg on the muffler. The driver swerves and starts yelling "Chi Chi", which means "What" , Lee is jumping around with a 1st degree burn taking over the better part of his leg. We get back on the bike a bit weary and still very lost. So finally we find a route that I recognize and we take it. The road we under construction and there were huge holes in the road (when I say huge I mean 6 feet deep holes that completely cover the width of the road). With every hole that we came to Lee and I would get off of the bike and walk to the other side, while the boda B took the drive of death Evil Knievel style. Unfortunately Mr. Short-Pants was not as experienced as he would have liked to be, he wrecked, and the bike fell over on top of him. Haha.. It was soooooo funny! So there were no more problems until we got home. I was really afraid that Pecos was going to sic the guards on the helpless little white boy. Pecos thinks it is funny to get the guard to scare the boys with the Ak-47's. He is very protective with his girls. Thankfully (even though it would have been really funny) he was very hospitable to my guest. We sat on the porch upstairs for a long while talking, mostly Pecos talking and me dying of laughter. He is the funniest man alive in my eyes. He made me feel really great though; he was saying all types of nice things about me to Lee, calling me his daughter and such. I told him that I was engaged to Tashobya (just to mess with him) and he told me that he was putting two armed guards on me. Haha.. So now we are leaving. Mr. Short- Pants was sitting on the porch half asleep looking very much so defeated, I felt a bit bad for making him wait such a long time. We get back on the bike, after a lecture from Pecos; the little man started our journey back to the city. Too bad that wee only went about 500 meters before the bike ran out of gas leaving us stranded in the middle of no where. The driver makes another executive decision, only this time it really involves my life. He puts the bike in neutral and goes down the whole mountain/hill with a head light flickering on and off going way too fast and fishtailing. I was terrified, and anyone who knows me knows that I am a junkie for a thrill but this was too much. I was repenting for my sins out loud! Thankfully we made it safely and we got petrol. We dropped Lee off in Kabagala, which is relatively close to his house. I guess that was the moment this Mr. Short-Pants was waiting on. He started hitting on me. I cut that short with telling him that I was married to a Ugandan, Runyankole, and Pecos was my Step-Father, so he figured that I knew the local language. He asked me and I replied that I did. The rest of the trip he was speaking to me in Runyankole. It was kind of funny. I came home and wanted to eat but was too embarrassed to go anywhere because I was covered in dust. You probably do not understand when I tell you covered in dust. I had dust caked in every crevice of my face in my tear ducts, my snot was black, I had to clean my ears for about 20 minutes to get all of the grime out. I had dust caked on my legs, which be the way were covered by jeans… I was the epitome of the hated dirty American. To make matters worse, I got home and Daphney (Tashobya's Sis) looked at my butt and started laughing, she said I did not really know what these people were talking about saying you had grown fat but now I know, those jeans were hanging on you when I first met you now you have grown African… The end to a perfect day.

Catastrophe in the City

this is Grace.

update on blog
This past Saturday Global Family Rescue peeps and I went back to Nakaseri's house, the lady that has been bed ridden for four years. It was a great day because Grace was feeling a lot better than the time before. She was sitting and was not as gaunt. We brought doctors to their house to give them care. Nakaseri is dying of Syphilis; she is in the final sages of the disease and will soon go mental. Grace is actually seventeen and has a two year old child. She is young enough to treat her HIV. She was extremely dehydrated and is severely malnourished. We took her to the hospital where she will be looked after. Nakaseri would not let us take her blood for the longest time because she was afraid of the needle, finally she let us. We are going to try to get the best care possible for her. The doctor was completely disgusted with their living situation and said the reason they were so bad off was because of poverty; poor sanitation, bad food and water, and lack of personal hygiene. We bought them beds so that they do not have to sleep on the floor any longer.
News about me
I started working at a primary school called Eagles Nest. It is an American/Ugandan missionary ran. The school is in the same area as my church. The area is Mengo Kisenyi, which is a Somalian refugee area. I went to my first class today and I had about 120 students… "eh eh" It was great though. I am really excited about teaching them how to read, and count, and everything else that P2 kids do!
Tonight I needed to get to Kids Bible Study at the church so I got a Boda boda. I told him that I needed to go to Christianity Focus, Ps. Kiganda, Kiganda Zone, Kisenyi, Mengo. Do you know where it is? He said "yes Madame I do." This cat took me everywhere besides the church. I called a friend to tell him how to get their in Luganda because this guy did not understand what I was saying. So when I gave the phone to the sabo to get him to hear my friend he started saying "I do not speak Luganda, speak English to me" WHAT ALL BODA BODA GUYS SPEAK LUGANDA!! Anyways I was on this boda for about 45 minutes…Sketchy! When I got to the church I had a great study with the kids. I taught them a new song and we put dance to it. These little Africans –they can dance!! Tomorrow Sherri and Matt are coming into town, so I will have some people to hang out with! I have been lonely since Ishta left and Andrea told me that she is not coming till December. I have been keeping myself busy though. I am supposed to be going into the village this weekend with the Tashobya's. I do not know if I will really be able to go though because I have just remembered that my kids are supposed to sing at a this over night youth event. "Ai yi yi" that could be a really long night. I am really excited because out Ministry conference at the church starts this Sunday.

The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of life
Im an all American rebel making my big get away… like steve mcqueen I am really not an all American but I can act like I am when I listen to Sheryl Crow! Today was sooooo phenomenal. I went to church at 9 and did not get out until what 4 and I left before it was over because I was starved. Church was so awesome. A British/American/ Ugandan friend joined me. I will explain his story in a few. Meanwhile, I am so excited about what happened at church. A visiting Nigerian pastor ministered today. We saw many miracles and he spoke with such eloquence. He called me on stage after service to prophecy to me. He told me that I was blessed with a loving heart that could not be tampered. He said he saw a NGO in my future that I started helping female children. He said that many seemingly unreachable people were going to invest in me/my work. He also said that I am thinking that my ministry will be concealed to corners but that my ministry will be open walls. He told me there is no telling how big and awesome it will get. He also said that someone connected to my father will help to start the program. Also that God is already opening the doors for me to meet very influential people who are going to back me. He said many other things. Anyone who knows me knows that he was exactly on queue. I was so encouraged. I have been feeling like my dream was so much larger than me.. well it is so much bigger than I but it is not out of my hands. I was so blessed. Then I went to lunch with my friend I met by freak chance. He has been in the North. He was telling me his stories about him living in an IDP camp. He actually drank the same water and lived exactly how these 2 million people live everyday. He is a student and he is sponsoring four kids to go to school. He was telling me the story of one girl he sponsors. She was abducted by the LRA when she was 10, she was raped and became pregnant when she was 12. She escaped by running 200 km. through the bush with a five month baby on her back. She would drink mud to have something in a liquid form go down her throat and lived on leaves… whatever she could find. Kind of makes me be a little thankful. The amazing thing about this girl is she remained so crimson and joyous. The weird thing is that the more of these children who have been through things none of can even imagine have more joy than I. It is like they see the real meaning of life. They define happiness through triumph and just because they are alive is more than enough. This girl is 15 and going to beauty school here in Kpala. She is graduating in a short while and she is not going to stay here in the city and make money but she is turning around and going back to Gulu where she was hurt so badly, and she is going to help other girls who have been through what she went through but have no means to go to school. What is life to me? What is life to you? What do I value? What do I consider success? Life is so much more than what I see, think, hear, read, or even dream. As I sit here in my nice clothes I think maybe there is a greater calling to my life than just to get married and have a few kids and have the American dream. Sorry Bambi, that is not me. Life has more meaning than I can ever imagine. Why did God die for me? I think maybe he wanted me/all of us to do extraordinary things. I know everyone is not called to Africa –but you know there are troubled people everywhere. I was reading the Monitor the other day, and there was a article about President Museveni going to Germany to speak to some Xian group. He said communist China has given more to Africa then the Christian West and we are the ones who supposedly to work on love. I will try to find that article. It really convicted me. Who am I to tell you to be proactive? I can only hope that is already instilled in everyone. I teach a bible study to kids 5 times a week. These kids come excited and faithfully. I wish everyone could go to Mengo, the place where I teach. It is a HORRIBLE horrible area. It is mostly Somalian refugee area but is know for prostitution and thieves. It is disgusting. These kids live with nothing. There are several kids who do not have money to even go to school. One girl in particular, her name is Baritha. Her parents both died of AIDS and lives with her grandparents. She recently became a Christian and her grandfather will no longer pay her school fees because she is no longer Muslim. All she wants to do is go to school. For everything she needs about 110,000 shillings, which is about $70. Wow, can I spare a pair of shoes or maybe a cup of coffee a day for this girl's education. What has she done to not deserve an education? I can solve her problem. I do not have a lot of money but I can do that. Define necessity? I can honestly tell you that I can look at a hummer with a little bit of disgust. We are so much bigger than we think. You have the power to turn a persons life around. You have the ability to give a child ultimate happiness. Question yourself, your goals, and ambitions. Making millions is not the only gratifying thing you can do. Believe in youself and your ability to show Gods love, not only with your money but with your prayers and dedication to your world. These people know their government, We should also. We control what happens in our country. Let us talk to our Senators to pass bills to get the US into helping these people. The US just gave Africa what 60 or maybe 30 billion (i cannot remember exactly) for AIDS medicine but the Africans do not think it will be affective because they do not have enough money to maintain the hospitals or to pay people to give the medicine. We can do something about that. These people are so dedicated to God. They pray and attend church more than you could even imagine. Tomorrow we have lunch hour prayer 12-3, then there is bible study at 6pm and then all night prayer. This is more than religion to these wonderful people, it is their whole existence. Why can we not dedicate prayers to them? Go on week long fast with them. It is not Gods will for these people to die of disease and poverty. We need to pray for their well being and their Government.
On a bit of a lighter note, I had a great night last night! I spent the night with Ishta's auntie Grace. She was so wonderful! She has three BEAUTIFUL kids. It was a really great experience. Someone stole a bag from me the other day. I was so mad because it just had markers, my study group notes, and the kids work. I hope they felt wonderful when they found NO cash!
Seriously think about your life and the meaning of you

Gwee Go AWAY!

GGWEEE GO AWAY!!!
I really love Uganda! I really really do, I have this love for common wealth that is weird. I probably wouldn't love it as much if I were from here. It is just so crazy to think that I could live here forever and totally be 100% happy. I have had a really great week. I went to a Dr. Creole Dollar seminar last night. It was really awesosme. I have not fully understood church since I have been here –until last night. I went by myself and was a bit taken by the crowd. There were nearly half a million people there. Africans do love religion. You know I did not expect the Muslim community to be so large. Okay, this week what have I done--- Sunday I went to church it was raining cats and dogs. The roof is pathetic, I could not even teach because we were wet. After church I met an American named Matt that I met at the wedding I went to Saturday. By the way I went to a Kuhingira, which is a ceremony for the parents of the bride to give their daughter away. My God it was so long and boring and in Luganda. Anyways so I met a really cool American and we went to lunch Sunday with his friend from here. We went to Café PaP and had fajitas. We ate really fast because he had to make a flight two hours later and he ended up missing the flight, not because of me he had enough time! Anyways we hung out later that evening for eats. It was a lot of fun hanging out with someone who could quote anchorman with me. That was a definite change in conversation comparing African vs. American. You know Americans are so much different than we give our selves credit for, whether it is the lack of culture or the pride of culture we are different. It is so funny how quick I can spot an American. They are so… different! True story. I really miss my family. I think everyone should move here. Uganda is so free. My theory is that they do not have to really work for their survival like the rest of Africa –well for the most part. Their main source of food is banana and they grow freely without any maintaining. They are the source of the Nile- so fertile soil is a fact. I went to see Oceans 13 Tuesday, It was AWESOME! I really think Brad and george want to marry this mamma! Ishta has to leave to go back to India Sunday and I am so upset. I really do not want her to leave, I love that girl we are so alike it is FREAKY! Well I need to sleep . Well goodnight

My almost Arrest

My almost arrest!!!!
I had quite the experience last weekend.. "Aiii yi yi" as the Ugandans would say! We were going to Mbale –which is about 4 hours east of Kampala. We were having such a great time driving through the rain forest and hills with tea leaf growing all over them. You had better believe that I was Asian in my video taping. I was getting everything. Then the news came from the driver that we were about to cross the Nile river. You know I HAD to get that on tape. Well I pulled my camera out preparing for the taping when armed military guards start yelling from across the road.. "Muzungu pull to the side of the road- you will be arrested" Oh my God it is going to be another Broken down palace –I am going to die in a prison-my parents will never want me to travel again-should I call my embassy, were the thoughts racing through my mind. The soldiers were yelling at us and they had guns and I was sooo scared. He was mad because I was videoing the bridge over the Nile. There is military intelligence on the bridge. The ironic thing about all of this was that my camera was not even on! Anyhow after 45 minutes we called Ishta's cousin –He is a lieutenant in the UG army. He promised them money we think because the guy gave me back my camera and told us to leave. Last week a journalist was sent to prison for the same thing. Thank you Yesu~

Maranatha Maranatha Maranatha!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. -Galations 5:23
I have come to the realization that I love God sooo much! I have never felt God everyday in such a strong way as I do now! It is amazing what God can do for a person, how he can transform people is completely miraculous. I have never been so happy in my life. Maranatha Maranatha!! It really amazes me how Christians can be so segregated. I do not understand. I got into a discussion this weekend and realized that there is so much segregation and HATE –YES HATE—in our churches. LOVE LOVE LOVE! I don't understand how a God loving Christian can sit around and judge because he/she does not have the same man made standard as another Christian. Are we not all serving the same God?!!!!!!! There was an incident last week that made me realize that some "oh too holy Christians" are truly hateful. SO here is to you- God bless you! Can we not be forgiven unless we forgive? I guess the last couple of weeks have made me realize that God is so much bigger than man! Who are we to judge?! God is so much bigger than an organization!!!!! God is love—why do we enforce his love with such hate?? This whole idea of judging because you are do not believe the EXACT thing is sooo dumb. It makes me so mad. You know what i cannot do anything about stupid people and as hard as I try I cannot change the world. I guess I have the beauty queen idea that there is hope for peace in this World. How can that ever happen if the "most loving" Religion based on love can not get along.
Galatians 6
Doing Good to All
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
6Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature[a]will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

San Diego

I went to San Diego this past week! It was wonderful! Pretty much my favorite place on Earth! Sat and Sun we spent time at Justin's Uncles house. It was great! He has a real Van Gogh! I was impressed! Sunday we went to church, it was raining so we went to sleep fpr a while. Sunday night we went to an uber' chic cafe in the lamplight, called Zulu's! I loved it! Monday-Wed we went and stayed on Mission Beach!!!!! We had a suite that looked over the bay! We had a lot of fun!!!! Tue we got to see my auntie and uncle in Cornado! It was great time!!! thank you God for allowing me to do fun things!

Only 38 more days

Wow, it has been a REALLY really long time since I last blogged! I don't know why I love to do it when I have time. Only 38 days until I leave!!!! I have never been so excited about a thing in my life. I am going to work with an orphanage called Friends of the Orphanage and Libraries of Love. I am working with Invisible Children here in Austin -so I am hoping to go to Gulu, where the child soldiers are. This passion is eating me alive! I am so happy about what God is doing in my life. His ways are so great and he has open countless doors!